A TRIBUTE TO ELISE SUTTON, Part 2

Alas, apologies for the deception, but the inset photo to the left is not of Elise Sutton. It's just kind of how I imagine her looking. It's actually a photo of the lovely Austrian-American concert pianist, Hilde Somer (1922-1979), whom I had the privilege of meeting and whose pianism I greatly admired. Lacking an actual photo of Elise, all I can offer the understandably curious reader is this admiring description from a journalist, "Richard H," to whom Elise granted a rare interview:

"I was amazed at how beautiful of a woman she was. Although I am not at liberty to describe her, I will say that she is an attractive woman in her mid‑forties. She carried herself with a confidence and a boldness that made her even more attractive to me. She was dressed in a white blouse, a leather miniskirt, and she had on a classy-looking leather jacket."

What else I do have you will find below:

• a personal profile (that appeared in some early versions of her website) and two interviews;
• one signed "Richard H" and
• one conducted by the well-known popular online FLR advocate Te-Erika Patterson (taken from her website "Conquer Him" and reprinted with her permission).

Finally, to round things out, I include one of my favorite entries from Mrs. Sutton's voluminous treasure trove of "Real Stories," one of a great many that disprove the oft-repeated canard that "Stealth Submission" doesn't work. It can and does, as witness my own marriage and many, many others that were cited by Elise Sutton over the two-decades span of her website.

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Personal Profile of Elise Sutton:

Psychologist, Female Supremacist and Wife

I attended a northeastern University from 1975‑1978 where I received my Bachelor's degree in Psychology. After which I went to work for a school district as a Psychologist. For my post‑graduate studies, I specialized in the area of Human Sexuality. As part of my research, I joined a pansexual organization that focuses on B&D and D&S in loving, caring relationships. It was there that I had my first experiences with openly Dominant Females and submissive males. It didn't take me long before I realized that I was a natural Dominant.

I studied the subject of Female Domination in great detail by reading lots of books and material on the subject, as well as interviewing a great number of people who were active in this lifestyle. I made many friends including a woman who would become a close friend. She happened to be a professional Dominatrix. I agreed to team up with her whenever she had a client that requested to be dominated by two Females. This provided me with some much-needed extra income as well as another great opportunity to do additional research.

Once I received my Master's degree, I decided to do something unique. I advertised as a Dominant Female Psychologist who could help a submissive male understand his desires. I had no idea that I would receive so many inquiries. I had really discovered an area of need out there. That was ten years ago and since then I have helped many submissive males come to terms with their feelings and desires, as well as trying to get their wives to understand them and to take their proper place in their marriage, which is to be in control and in charge. As far as my belief system goes, I have grown a lot over the years and I am now a Female Supremacist.

A Female Supremacist is a woman who believes that women are the superior sex over men. She is a woman who has come to believe that society would be better served if it were run by women instead of men. A Female Supremacist believes that women should be in positions of authority from government clear down to marriage, where the wife should rule over the husband. A Female Supremacist believes that women and men are different. She believes that they both have strengths and weaknesses, but that the woman has more strengths than the man and that she contains the traits that are best fitted to be in a position of authority.

Politically, I am a Libertarian. I believe in less government and in personal freedom. I believe that the government should stay out of people's lives and out of their business, especially out of the bedroom. Ultimately, I would like to see a woman President with female majorities in Congress and on the Supreme Court. I believe that if women ran this country and the world, there would be fewer wars, less violence, and children and animals would be better cared for. Men are too violent and they are lead around far too much by what is between their legs. That is why women should lead them.

Spiritually, I am a Christian. I grew up Catholic and I was very devotee. In college, I doubted the existence of God and I searched for the truth. I was a Unitarian for a while. Finally, I could not deny the strong beliefs that I had developed as a child, so I returned to Christianity. I did not return to the Catholic church since it was run by men and has a male dominant hierarchy. For the same reason, I did not join any main-line Protestant churches. Finally, I found an independent Christian church that has a predominately female leadership that encourages its members to read the Bible and to seek God themselves, and not to rely on a religious structure to dictate to them what they must believe. I believe that God is neither female nor male, but that God is a Spirit with both female and male traits. I believe that God is a loving, caring, merciful, peaceful being who loves everyone unconditionally. All of these traits are found more in women than in men. I believe that is why Christ was conceived by God and a woman, totally apart from a man. The result was the only loving, caring, peaceful man who ever walked the earth. I believe in Christ's resurrection and I worship and pray to Jesus as a resurrected, almighty Savior who has both female and male characteristics, and not as a mortal male figure that most churches envision.

I embrace a very active sexual lifestyle and I don't feel guilty or condemned about it. God is the creator of both genders and he is the creator of Sex. Sexuality is a very important aspect of life. I am also tolerant of other religions and beliefs, however I must admit that I have a real problem with any religion that makes women wear veils or treats them as second-class citizens.

Personally, I am in my mid-forties* and I am married. I met my husband in college. We dated for four years and we were married in 1982. I introduced him to this lifestyle and I had no trouble getting him to surrender control of our relationship over to me. We do not have any children (my choice), but we are the parents to two beautiful Golden Retrievers. As far as my hobbies go, I love to read, I love to go to the movies as long as they are not violent (I abhor violence), I love animals, I love to travel, and of course I love my husband and I love to dominate him. ###

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: I downloaded this material from Ms. Sutton’s website in 2007. If she were in her mid-40s in 2007, she would likely be in her mid-60s as of this writing, 2023). I pray that, despite the disappearance of her website, she is doing well and still dominating her husband.)

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My Interview With Elise Sutton: The Leather Couch by “Richard H.”

(Downloaded from Elise Sutton’s website by Thomas Lavalle in February, 2007)

 (The following article is the edited version that appeared recently in a publication. Due to copyright reasons the author's full name and the name of the publication are omitted. I am in the process of negotiating the right to reprint the entire unedited version of the interview portion of this article.—E.S.)

I came across Ms Elise Sutton's website purely by accident one day and I was fascinated by what I read. Now I am not afraid to admit that I have on occasion fantasized before about being sexually dominated by a powerful woman. I think that most men have, if they are totally honest. Perhaps it is being taken captive on an island by Amazon women and forced to be their sex slave or harking back to being in school and fantasizing about the attractive substitute teacher forcing you to stay after class then making you do sexual favors for her. If you are a red-blooded American male, you must admit to the occasional rise you get from watching Xena, the Warrior Princess, or at least admit that you were tempted to go home and dream about Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Let's face it, being the sex-obsessed males that we are, we have many fantasies and being dominated by a powerful woman, or a group of powerful women, ranks right up there.

So when I come across a website that talks about women dominating men, I must at least check it out. I've come across a number of the sex industry rip-off sites that tease us men and then expects us to pay dearly to see more. I've been fooled once or twice by these sites, but I have learned how to spot a website that is a cookie cutter site created by major porn companies. Don't get me wrong, I don't spend all of my free time searching the web for sexual fantasies. However, after one has checked his e‑mail, checked his stock prices, sports scores, and the news, it never hurts to be a little adventurous before signing off the web for the night. It never ceases to amaze me what one can find on the Web. Cults, militia groups, every kind of religion imaginable, every kind of civic and social clubs imaginable, and every kind of lifestyle imaginable. Everyone and everything has a website and I am fascinated by it all.

Well, one night while I was being adventuresome, I came across Elise Sutton's Female Supremacy website. What separated her website from all of the others is that this woman claimed to be a Psychologist who loved to dominate men. I was intrigued so I read more. It seemed that this woman combined her two loves in life, psychology and female domination. She had built a practice from analyzing men with submissive fantasies and now she wanted to share her knowledge with wives all across the country via the Internet. As I read more, I was even more amazed. This woman was really a Dominatrix who practiced psychology. She loved to wear leather, use whips, and the whole S&M scene. Yet she claimed that this helped her to get submissive men to open up about their fantasies and desires. Fascinating. I had to read more.

I came to her personal profile page and I was even more amazed. This woman is religious as well. No, no, I don't mean that she is spiritual and is into New Age or Wicca. This woman is a devoted Christian. I am serious. She's a Psychologist who believes in female supremacy, who practices S&M, and who loves Jesus. Just the kind of woman every man wants to take home to meet mother. I had to bookmark this page and check back from time to time to see what this woman was up to. Ms Sutton had posted on her website “The Psychoanalysis of the Submissive Male.” The purpose of this procedure was to help the wife or girlfriend analyze her submissive man. This was to help build intimacy in their relationship, help the man come to “terms” with his submission, and help propel the wife to the head of the marriage or relationship.

It was fascinating reading and I just had to order her “other procedures” that she advertised on her site. I contacted Ms Sutton by e‑mail and ordered these procedures. I had to send a self-addressed stamped envelope to her P.O. Box number and a modest fee to get them.

I am glad that I did. These procedures were wild and they kept getting wilder and wilder. I wish I could describe them to you, but my editor would have turned three shades of red. Kinky doesn't even begin to describe these psychoanalysis procedures. However, I must admit there were times I was sorry that I didn't have a dominant woman performing these on me. Besides the great sex the couples were having who ordered these procedures, the psychoanalysis questions at the end of the exercises were really thought-provoking. I started to reflect on my own childhood and past relationships.

As I kept checking back to her website, I really enjoyed reading her Question and Answer Forum. As I read this forum that she updates on a regular basis, I started to change my opinion about this woman. She was the real thing, I found myself thinking. She is sincere and she knows what she is talking about. This is no dumb or crazy woman that runs this website. Perhaps she really is a Psychologist and perhaps she really believes all of this that she writes about Female Supremacy.

That was it. I had to meet this woman. I had to interview her. I emailed Elise Sutton every day for almost a month requesting an interview. Finally, my persistence paid off and she agreed. I had to promise no pictures and I had to promise not to describe her or reveal where she lived. Naturally, I agreed.

I arrived at her suburban office, close to a major East Cost city, and it looked like the kind of office you would expect a Psychologist to have. It had a waiting area and two large offices. The waiting area had an array of fetish and female domination books and magazines. I sat and looked through the pictures of leather‑clad women dominating submissive men while I waited for her to finish a telephone call. When she was finished, she opened the one door and called me to her office.

I was amazed at how beautiful of a woman she was. Although I am not at liberty to describe her, I will say that she is an attractive woman in her mid‑forties. She carried herself with a confidence and a boldness that made her even more attractive to me. She was dressed in a white blouse, a leather miniskirt, and she had on a classy-looking leather jacket. I sat across her large oak desk as I interviewed her. Besides the large oak desk, the office had plush maroon carpeting, a large black leather couch, and four black leather chairs. She had her degrees hanging on the wall, along with some photos of women wearing sexy leather outfits. A few of the pictures featured her.

As I interviewed her, I was impressed with how intellectual and intelligent she was. Yet, she talked like a very down-to-earth, girl-next‑door type. She also had this aura about her. Her female superiority beliefs radiated from her. I never felt like she was talking down to me, yet I never felt like her equal as we talked. She had a way of looking through me, which made me feel a little uneasy, although I must confess that I was also sexually aroused as I interviewed her.

When we were finished the interview, she asked me if I wanted to see her other room in her office. We went back through the reception area and into the other door. I was amazed at what I saw. It was a huge room full of bondage equipment. It had black rubber padding on the walls and red casino carpeting on the floor. Hanging from the walls were all kinds of whips, paddles, and other S&M toys. If I hadn't just talked to her for over an hour, I probably would have run for my life. She gave me a brief tour and description of what each piece of bondage equipment was for and how she utilized it. I must admit, I started to really get aroused but being the professional journalist that I am, I pulled myself together.

After the tour, she showed me the door and she thanked me for my time. I, of course, thanked her for her time as she was the one who did me the favor. As I walked to my car I thought to myself, “too bad she is married.” No, I could never be in total submission to a woman. Or could I?

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FEMDOM: WHY EVERY WOMAN SHOULD DOMINATE HER RELATIONSHIP

Excerpts of Interview With Elise Sutton posted by Te-Erika Patterson
on April 13, 2013, reprinted with her permission

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: The complete interview (well worth reading its its entirety) is available on Te-Erika’s website, Conquer Him. Ms. Patterson’s gateway website is LovingFLR.Com (“Create Loving Relationships That Empower Women”). According to Te-Erika, Elise “is a real person with a real husband but she was fearful of using her real name. That is not her real name.”)

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Elise Sutton offered me the opportunity to learn more about the unique relationship model she presents in her website Female Superiority.Com.  ~ Te-Erika

T-EP: Do you believe all women have a dominant side to their personalities?

ES: I view dominance, when it comes to relationships, as more of a mindset and an attitude than a personality trait. We are what we think we are. I know a lot of women that are quiet, reserved and rather laid-back who are the dominant partner in their marriage. So to me, dominance has nothing to do with temperament but it has everything to do with attitude. Therefore, I believe that any woman can assume the dominant role in her marriage or any personal relationship. And furthermore, I believe women should be the dominant partner within male/female relationships. Why? Because women are best equipped biologically and intellectually to be the head of the household.

I have in my private collection over 500 articles written in the past ten years that talk about the superiority of women and how it’s becoming a woman’s world. Articles with such titles as: “The End of Men” (Atlantic Weekly), “It’s a Woman’s World, the phasing out of men” (National Review), and “The incredible shrinking Y (chromosome)” (New York Times).

Women have become the main decision makers within marriages as more and more women are in charge of the checkbooks and the bank accounts. Women are becoming the main breadwinners in many families, and even in families where the husband has a higher income it is the wife who makes the financial decision.

I also believe women are sexually dominant by nature. Again, when I say “dominant” I do not necessarily mean aggressive. While more women are choosing to be more sexually aggressive with their male partners, some dominant women prefer to be sexually passive in bed with a man. Be that as it may, the woman who understands how males and females are sexually designed will be able to take control in the bedroom using her natural feminine power.

Men are often led by their lower heads and the smart woman is the woman who learns how to utilize the male sex drive to her advantage. Too many women become victims of the male sex drive instead of taking control of it via the power Nature has bestowed on the female gender. And then there is also the biology of the female orgasm vs. the male orgasm, which is a fascinating study itself. I often tease my husband that sex was designed for the woman’s pleasure, not the man’s pleasure, and the male orgasm can never measure up to the intensity and pleasure of a woman’s orgasm(s) once she comes into her sexual prime.

T-EP: Why is it beneficial for women to recognize these traits?

ES: The female contains the attributes best fitted to be in authority within a marriage or a male/female relationship. Women are the gender with the womb, the child-bearers, the life-givers, thus the nurturers and the gender best able to see the big picture and make decisions for the collective good. Women are by nature more kind-hearted. Combine this with the biological and intellectual strengths of the female gender, and it is foolish for any woman to surrender control of her life over to a man. 50/50 is better than male dominance but female dominance is best of all as it is able to bring harmony to a relationship.

T-EP: Why do so many men want to be dominated by women?

ES: There is a natural born desire within most men that causes them to desire to be dominated by a woman. I believe that males are born with this desire and I also believe that this desire is enhanced through a male’s childhood experiences with his female authority figures. A male is carried in the womb of a woman, he is birthed into this world by a woman, he is nurtured at the breasts of a woman, he is disciplined by the loving hands of a woman, and he is loved and comforted by a woman. The male gender learns early on that there is something special, almost magical, about the female gender. She is different than he is. She is lovely, beautiful, caring, and nurturing. In some men, this revelation only gets stronger as he matures. He realizes that being under the loving authority of a woman is what gives his life a peaceful and meaningful existence.

T-EP: How can a woman learn to become more dominant in her life?

ES: I would recommend the following tips if a woman wants to unleash her dominance and attract a man that is open to a female led relationship:

1) Self-image

A woman should begin to view herself as the dominant and superior female that she is. This means that a woman should never settle for any man that does not treat her like a Queen. Expect a man to worship you and revere you. Do not settle for macho males who think they are God’s gift to women. Seek out a man who wants to support you in your life goals, who is open to doing housework and chores for you and who realizes he is blessed to be in a relationship with you. He doesn’t have to be a soft male or a feminine male (unless that is what you want) but he must have that submissive heart.

There are more men out there that want to be submissive to women than you can imagine.

Deep inside, men are attracted to bold, confident women who walk with a dominant demeanor. And how do you get that demeanor? It comes back to your attitude. Believe you are a dominant woman worthy of male submission and you will become a dominant woman.

2) Unleash your female sexual power

I know some feminists hate this advice but I really believe in it and it has done wonders for me and a lot of women I have counseled. How we look on the outside does reflect how we feel on the inside. Any woman of any age and any body type can radiate sexuality. In this day and age there are so many resources available to women. I am not a thin woman and I am no longer a young woman but when I go out, I dress and carry myself like the sexual woman I believe that I am. I have learned how to dress, which hair styles make me look younger, and which cosmetics work best for me. I eat right, I exercise and for a woman in my mid to late 50’s, I still like to believe I ooze dominance and sexuality. I love to wear leather clothing because a lot of submissive men have a real leather fetish. A pair of leather pants or a leather skirt can make me feel extra sexy and powerful. So I seek to dress sophisticated and sexy.

I am bold and dominant as a woman and how I look on the outside lets the world know how I feel on the inside. My attitude attracts men who want to submit to me.

3) Be willing to experiment with Dominance & Submission in the bedroom with your partner

One of the good things to come out of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” craze is that it introduced a lot of women to BDSM (or I prefer to call it D&S). I desire to be the dominant sex partner so I didn’t care for the book (I like to read erotica where women sexually dominate men).

However, the book did open women up to the concept of what some might call ‘kinky sex’. My husband and I have practicing FemDom in the bedroom for decades. Yes, I actually wear fetish clothing (leather, boots, corsets, etc.) and I have paddles and whips and a strap-on harness and other ‘toys’. I discipline my husband and he worships my body and sex is never mundane or boring, even after all of these years.

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A Sample From Elise’s “Real Stories” Section

From Wilson Z:

Dear Ms Sutton, My wife was reluctant to try female domination when I showed her your site. She read over the forums and stories and articles but she didn’t believe any of it was real, or if it was, the people were “out there.” I didn’t know what to tell here other than I respected her intelligence and that I would live according to whatever lifestyle she would choose for us. I told her all that mattered to me was that she was in charge and I would go along with whatever she wanted.

I never thought I was being clever but somehow I stumbled upon an approach that introduced her to the power of female domination without topping from below. I was sincere when I told her that all I wanted was for her to be in charge. We did not have to be kinky in the bedroom, she did not have to wear fetish outfits and we did not have to do anything she read on Elise Sutton’s site. The only rule was that she makes the rules and I obey them. That was it and she agreed.

She started slow, not much of a difference in the beginning, but I went out of my way to do everything she asked of me. My wife took notice and about a year ago my wife re-read your site because she was looking for a starting point. She found the article on your site about women shaving their men’s privates (Eve Hogan’s “He Said, She Said,”  bottom of page 17 in “Mainstream Articles” section). My wife decided that she wanted me to be shaven so she told me that I was to shave off all of my pubic hair.

Something like that seems so innocent and harmless but the power it had on me was immense. I felt totally emasculated. I was a little embarrassed about my condition but I was noticeably aroused sexually. My wife enjoyed touching my smooth skin around my genitals and she commented how nice it was to fondle smooth balls.

In the beginning, her rules were very mild. She got to pick what we watched on television and things like that. My wife was not accustomed to being in charge so she did not take bold steps at first. But as time went on, she began to be bolder. She even humiliated me a couple times about my hairless “region” and one time she reprimanded me rather forcefully because I had not shaved for two weeks and some of the hair was coming back. Her solution was a bikini wax in that area. She bought the stuff from her friend who is an esthetician and my wife performed the bikini wax on me. Talk about hurt, but I was smoother than ever. She later expanded my “region” for the bikini wax to include my legs. This made me feel even more emasculated.

My wife began to demand that I do more of my share around the house. This grew and grew and grew, and now I do most of the housework.

My wife began to take more control of the money. My wife began to make most of the decisions in our marriage. Some of her decisions have been the opposite from what I wanted but if I ever fight her or disagree, she reminds me of our rule, “The only rule is that she makes the rules and I obey them.” She reminds me that this rule was my idea.

I was just thinking the other day how far we have come. Has it only been a year? She has become so dominant in such a short time. And to think that she was against this lifestyle. Now when she reads your site, she no longer thinks it is kinky or only for people who are “out there.” It all seems natural to her, and to me.

We are not into B&D or S&M but our marriage is totally Femdom. The most recent development was when my wife took us down a road I was certain we would never travel. A year ago I would have bet our house that my wife would never be interested in cuckolding. However, she met a man she had dated back in college. He was in town on business and he saw her at a trade show my wife organized here locally. She told me she was going out with him “as friends” to catch up on old times. They went to dinner, out to have some drinks and ended back at his hotel.

She came home very late, I waited up. Upon entering the house, before I had a chance to ask her about her night, she reached into my shorts and grabbed my smoothly shaved genitals and gave them a twist as she led me to the bedroom. She undressed, she pushed me on the bed, she straddled me and told me that she had just had sex with another man. I was ordered to perform “clean-up duty.”

She has only cuckolded me that once but now I know she is capable and she may do it again if she pleases. This was the hardest thing to submit to but when we discussed it, she reminded me “the only rule is that she makes the rules and I obey them.” Hearing her talk like this makes me feel at ease. I have come to trust her decisions and I feel really good about where we are at as a couple.

My advice to men out there who are as eager as I was for a female domination marriage is to share that one simple rule with your wife. I don’t know how any woman would resist that rule. It puts no pressure on her and she can take the lifestyle into any direction that she wants. All you have to do is follow her lead.

Elise’s Response:

Wilson, I couldn’t have said it any better. Your marital directive “the only rule is that she makes the rules and I obey them”is a simple philosophy that a couple can live by. It is a simple philosophy in how to live the female domination lifestyle but it covers everything.

You gave your wife the precious gift of agreeing to submit to her no matter where she decided to take the relationship. She could have taken the relationship into a very vanilla direction with the only Femdom elements being domestic. And had she done that, you were fully prepared to submit to that. You were not going to complain because you made a commitment to her.

Your submission in the little things (like allowing her to decide what the two of you will watch on television) gave her the strength to expand her dominance to bigger things. That led to the shaving of your genitals and that led her to exercise more authority over you by assigning you more chores, etc. And your obedience in those areas showed her that she could push the envelope with you. Now you are in the kind of marriage you always dreamed about and it has nothing to do with fantasies but it has everything to do with you submitting to a woman.

[ Note from Thomas Lavalle: In case you arrived here without reading the previous article, here is Part 1 of my tribute to Elise Sutton. ]

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A TRIBUTE TO ELISE SUTTON, Part 1

ELISE SUTTON CHANGED MY LIFE. So did Fumika Misato (of Real Women Don’t Do Housework) and Mistress Kathy (of Femdom 101). These “loving female authorities” convinced me, and, for sure, many thousands of frustrated subbie guys just like me, that our longings to submit to the opposite sex were not sick or perverted (as we had come to believe after years of prowling the back aisles of X-rated bookstores), but, properly directed, could be the magical pathway to happy-ever-aftering in a committed romantic relationship, whether a “WLM” (wife-led marriage) or “FLR” (female-led relationship).

Both Elise Sutton and Fumika Misato (or “Lady Misato”) popped up on the Internet around the same time—the Millennium. Mistress Kathy’s blog came along a half-dozen years or so afterward. It has long been my intention to write a tribute essay about all three of these sweet savants, but for now I’m making do with this brief bouquet focused principally on Ms. Sutton.

Her Female Superiority website (now, alas, defunct) was a treasure trove of information on what she liked to call Loving Female Authority (LFA). A well researched and thoughtfully positive review of her website was published in 2000 and, for a time, Ms. Sutton featured it on her site. I will reprint it in a follow-on post (coming soon). For the moment, I will just add a few words:

Like Lady Misato’s “Real Women Don’t Do Housework,” Elise Sutton’s “Female Superiority” was a pioneering website, text-heavy and perhaps R-rated (for racy). These trailblazing women were not interested in the commercial world of bondage parlors or femdom scenes. They promoted female domination not as bedroom kink but as a hyper-romantic lifestyle, a lifestyle where female authority pervades every aspect of a male’s existence. Both women offered informative and, for males like me, exciting letters from couples practicing what they so eloquently preached.

Lady Misato’s website (linked above) remains active, though the "Lady" herself seems not to have posted for some time. During Covid, Mistress Kathy’s wonderful Femdom 101 blog (also linked above) went into suspended animation. A year or so after that, Elise Sutton’s magnificent site went dark, with neither warning nor farewell. Some content, however, can still be retrieved via the Internet Archive, aka the WaybackMachine.

NB: While preparing this posting, I discovered that a great deal of Elise Sutton archival material has been uploaded onto scribd.com, an e-book and audiobook subscription service that claims to include one million titles. The material was uploaded by one Trey Brashear (Twitter: @BrashTrey). I haven’t downloaded any of this material, as I have my own voluminous Elise Sutton archives, which I've squirreled away through the years and regularly peruse. But, authorized or not, I applaud Trey Brashear (whom I do not know) for his efforts in keeping this wonderful material available.

Thank the Goddess, as well, that Elise Sutton's three books remain available, in ebook or paperback, from Amazon.com or Lulu.com (and some other online booksellers).

                                        Female Domination: Amazon / Lulu

                                        The Femdom Experience: Amazon / Lulu

                                        Searching for Wanda: Lulu

In a follow-on posting to this, as promised above, I will reprint an interview with Elise Sutton and her own personal profile, both of which were, at one time, included on her site. I hope to dispel once and for all those self-replicating rumors that Elise was a cyber-figment of some guy's kinky imagination and that all those Q&As and Real Stories were wild fabrications. Not so, I assure you! I was lucky enough to exchange emails with Elise years ago, under my alter ego of Mark Remond (of the Worshipping Your Wife blog), and I was tickled proud when she included my blog (as did Lady Misato) on her recommended links page.

Stay tuned -- In fact, you can click now to read Part 2 of my tribute to Elise Sutton.

--Thomas Lavalle

DEBRA’S SON: SERVING MY SISTER BEFORE MEETING MY GYNARCHIC WIFE

[Note from Thomas Lavalle: “Debra’s Son” previously shared his reminiscences of growing up in a matriarchal, Goddess-worshipping home. Here he describes his early years before his current wife-led marriage.]

As I described before, I had what I think was an ideal matriarchal childhood, and the credit goes to my wonderful mother. I still believe in the principles she taught me with all my heart and soul, but I’m ashamed to say there was a period in my life, during my college years, when I not only doubted, but virtually repudiated them.

Mom provided college funds for my younger sisters and me, but mine came with a special proviso. While my sisters would be allowed to go anywhere they wished, I was to go to a local university and commute there and back home each night. My mother told me this was so I could continue helping dad raise my sisters who weren’t quite adults yet, but it was obvious the main purpose was to keep me grounded in matriarchal principles. I was also required to learn something practical and profitable, so I studied accounting and finance, following in my father’s footsteps.

My mother was right to be concerned. Even though I came home from school every night and never developed any overt anti-matriarchal behavior, I encountered a very different male/female dynamic at college. The macho aggressive ways of the men, and the submissiveness of the women they dated, were jarring at first. At my home, the women were sex-positive in that they were aware of and made use of their feminine wiles and physical attributes—that was nature’s way of giving them more power over the "troublesome sex." At school, however, women used their femininity as a means of submission rather than empowerment. Of course, I was aware of this just by having grown up in contemporary culture, but still, seeing it all up close began to influence me. Over time, I decided that maybe Mom was wrong. Although I never spoke of it or acted on it, I decided secretly that I no longer believed what I’d been taught, and that once I graduated, I’d go off and live a more “traditional” patriarchal life.

That changed not too long after I finished my last year of school. The oldest of my sisters (I’ll call her Jill), who is two years younger than I, had gone away to another university. While there, intentionally or not, she became pregnant. She was delighted by the prospect of being a mom, so there was no question that she’d carry to term. She was planning to marry a submissive man, the son of one of my mom’s friends, when he was tragically killed in a plane crash. My sister was devastated. My matriarchal upbringing kicked in and completely drove out any thoughts I had of living a different, more traditional life. I came back home to temporarily help her get back on her feet. 

Before I go on, I want to make a point that’s perhaps obvious, but important to reiterate, I think. We, as matriarchist or gynarchist or female supremacist males, in whatever degree, tend to concentrate on serving and benefiting strong, assertive females, and of course we should. But no girl or woman is always in a state of physical and mental well-being. I believe it’s one of our tasks as men to help them get back to their rightful places as mistresses and rulers of our personal and public lives. I don’t claim to be good at it, I only try.

It happened that I had recently inherited a modest house from an uncle on my father’s side, and because there was some tension at the time between my sister and Mom, I moved Jill in with me. As my father before me, I worked out of my home, offering financial services. Because I wanted to get Jill back to the woman she was raised to be, I began setting up a matriarchal household and providing her with emotional support to the best of my ability. It was amazing how fast she “took over” in a literal sense. Even though it was my house, I was soon living as my sister’s total servant. I was butler, cook, housekeeper, valet, errand boy and, occasionally, whipping boy. Although Mom didn’t believe in corporal punishment, my sister did. For one thing, her submissive fiancé had expected it, and for another, I think disciplining me helped her work through a lot of resentment and anger. Her canings were not too severe, and besides, I was a big boy, I could take it.

On Jill’s due date, she gave birth to fraternal twin girls. So, in addition to everything else, I was going to be a nanny. Fortunately, I had a lot of experience from helping dad raise my sisters. I remodeled my bedroom into a nursery with all the amenities, including two cribs. I slept there to be on call whenever they needed changing, feeding, etc. Jill bonded with them very closely as well, and was a fine mother. 

After the babies were born, Mom lightened up and things were good between her and Jill again. She, my dad, and my youngest sister fell in love with their grandchildren and nieces and visited and helped when they could. Mom told me I was doing the right thing and basically ordered me to care for and serve Jill for as long as she wanted. My sister slowly got back on track and became her old strong, assertive self again. However, rather than go back to school right away, she wanted to pursue a passion of hers, photography. She was talented and after a time she started getting some work and doing okay. Jill never desired to marry but she always had an active dating life, and sometimes a steady boyfriend for awhile. I babysat the girls whenever she’d go out, and stay in the background performing my role as nanny and housekeeper when her boyfriend came over.

I had originally intended our situation to be temporary, but time went on and soon Jill’s daughters were toddlers (I’ll call them Ashley and Jenna), and I was caught up in taking care of them, obeying Jill, and working from home. I was so busy I didn’t have time for any personal life at all, but I was happy to serve. Jill naturally fell into her role as a young matriarch, and she laid down some ground rules over time. Although Jenna and Ashley knew I was their uncle, Jill felt it was best that they call me by my first name, David. From the time they could speak well, I heard my name constantly: “David, bring me orange juice.” “David, Mom said you had to [fill in the blank]!” “David, help me find my shoes -- NOW!” as well as the common sibling rivalry stuff like, “David, Ashley’s pulling my hair!” They were so cute, but just like their mother and aunt years before, they ran me ragged. The years went by so fast. One time, Ashley, the more assertive of the two, at eleven years old, told me to sit down. She said, “We need to talk.” She lectured me about how I must immediately alter my behavior on a whole range of issues, from the way I prepared her food to how I laundered her clothes to how I embarrassed her in front of her friends when I shuttled them to the shopping center or some such place.

 Jenna was more of a princess. She liked fashion and girly things, and she liked to practice cosmetology (aka “play beauty salon”). She wanted me to keep my hair long so she could style it. For awhile I looked like one of the guys from Cinderella, the ‘80s metal band. I also had the honor of being the first person whose ears she ever pierced. You’d think the way I ended up looking would be bad for my home business, but a lot of my clients liked the novelty of a “headbanger accountant.”

Jill disciplined the girls as she was disciplined herself, with time-outs, etc., and of course I never disciplined them at all, other than what it took to keep them safe and teach them to get along in the world. She never used corporal punishment on them. She continued to use it on me—in private—and became more strict with me in other ways. I think it was because she enjoyed the stability I provided and rightly wanted to keep the power she had gained. She demanded total obedience. If I disobeyed in any way or talked back (and sometimes I did, I’m human) she’d dress me down hard in front of the girls and sometimes slap me, to make sure they understood that male disobedience and insolence were not to be tolerated. Looking back, I think it was especially effective due to the fact that Jill was a petite, sexy 5’ 3’’ and I was a 6’ 2’’ fairly well-built male (albeit slightly feminized by my fashion-conscious niece, lol). They understood that no matter the size difference between men and women, a woman had the right, and, in this dangerous world, the duty to control the men in her life. Ashley and Jenna grew up to be strong, confident women, and while Ashley is probably more overtly matriarchal than Jenna, both understand that whatever type of man a woman might prefer for fun, she’s in for trouble if she settles down with an aggressive, dominant man.

Jill’s other rules for me included the complete management of my personal time as well. I had to ask permission to go anywhere and was told what time to be back. I was forbidden to date and required to remain celibate. Macho male friends and any hobbies that might bring me in contact with them were forbidden, and no drugs, even weed or alcohol, ever. I was to maintain a healthy diet and an early bedtime when my work and chores were done. I was to control my temper and exhibit a gentle, compliant, yet helpful and cheerful attitude at all times. The sole purpose of all my behavior was to set an ideal example of a submissive male for Ashley and Jenna. It was agreed that I’d take care of the finances because that was my field, but other than some investments and savings to keep us secure, all other income went directly to Jill. When the girls became adolescents they received a substantial allowance, which increased progressively as they got older. Personally I lived a very ascetic life and spent only enough on myself for the bare necessities. When I saw that things were stable and I was going to be my sister’s servant indefinitely, I put my house in her name. 

Jill rarely had to lift a finger during all the years I was with her. Her photography career prospered and by the time the girls were teens she was making good money. By the time they left home she was traveling a lot for her job and had a steady boyfriend in the same field. I sort of felt like a fifth wheel by that point. I felt my job was done, and I asked her for release. Somewhat surprisingly, she gave it. She insisted I keep half of the savings and investments I had accrued, and divide the other half between her and a trust fund for the girls. I felt Jill was very generous. If she had demanded it, I would have left with nothing, because I could have started again and re-established myself. I would have considered it a matter of pride.

So, I bought myself a place in a nearby small town and continued my work. But personally, I felt really lonely and at a loss. Here I was, the proverbial 40-year-old virgin with virtually no romantic experience, and no prospects. I wanted an FLR, but the dominant women I knew from my younger days were not available. But there was always the Internet. It took a long time to find someone authentic, but finally I met a young millennial woman who seemed more knowledgeable and comfortable with gynarchic principles than anyone I’d ever known. We’ve been married now for five years, have a ten-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter, and despite our age difference, she’s extremely adept being in charge. I’ll describe my life today in subsequent installments.

—Deb

MISTRESS SANDRA ON FEMALE LED FAMILIES

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: A half-dozen years ago, when this blog was first launched, I was privileged to publish several guest posts by “Mistress Sandra.” A frequent commenter to Mistress Kathy’s (currently dormant) Femdom 101 blog, Mistress Sandra was known for her passionate advocacy of, and informative comments on, femdom marriages. In her observations below, she ventures carefully and judiciously into the sensitive terrain of female-led families.)

Female Led Families & Dominant Daughters

This subject is extremely controversial, and I think we can all see why. But for those who truly believe in the positive aspects of female rule, a daughter coming of age and becoming a female authority to any male in the home, including her father, should be very natural.

I do think that in a home where this is a possibility, the ultimate female authority and head of the house, the wife and mother, should carefully consider how far this should go. Her comfort with whatever happens should be the most important consideration when the time comes.

A woman who believes in Female-Led homes should pass these beliefs on to her daughter, and teach her how to be a proper and positive female authority as she prepares for a Female-Led home of her own.

What about the father? His behavior should be an example to his daughter of how a well-trained, obedient and devoted male should act. As young teens, girls should see their father being very obedient and respectful to their mother. The father should do the housework, yard work and serve his wife in other ways as she wishes. He should also serve his daughter in ways that will benefit her without being overly obvious about his beliefs in the value of Female-Led homes. A man must balance between being a father while also being a respectful servant to his daughter.

Later, as a girl get older, usually around her late teens, she may be ready to start leading. At this stage fathers can be more open about taking orders from their daughters and waiting on them as opportunities arise. By the time a girl turns 21, she is a woman and deserving of being shown the same respect and obedience as her mother.

It would not be out of line if a mother decided at some point that her daughter should be addressed with a “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Ma’am” by her father. She could be given a position of authority to approve or deny any request by her father, and also to assign him chores and correct him as she sees fit. Her evolving position of authority, if it is to be valid, must include the authority to correct or discipline any male in her service.

It is fortunate indeed if a young woman can learn from her mother how a confident woman trains a submissive male, and to have a father who sets an example for proper male behavior in a Female-Led home! This is one of the best and most positive beginnings I can think of for her own journey to a happy Femdom marriage.

Each female-led home is different, and it is up to the head of the family to decide the degree and timing of a daughter’s involvement. There are many things to consider. The daughter’s interests, abilities, confidence and maturity are just a few. Also, the male’s level of training as well as past devoted service to his daughter. Has the daughter been raised in a home under strict femdom rules and protocols? Does she fully comprehend and embrace her position as a female authority in regard to him?

It is up to the female head of the family to integrate all these factors properly. This is her responsibility as the ultimate female authority in the home. She must balance her husband’s position as a father with his position as a household servant, while making sure that her daughter’s rightful place as a female authority within the home is also upheld and respected.

When done correctly—i.e., taking all of the above-mentioned factors into consideration—and depending on some key elements falling perfectly into place, I see no reason why young adult daughters shouldn’t be introduced to female dominance and leadership. This will enable them to avoid many of the mistakes other women may make when they embark on a Female-Led lifestyle.

By his submissive example, a devoted father can teach his daughter the proper way for men to behave toward women. Seeing his daily dedication to obey, serve and defer to all females in the family will help a daughter mature into a confident young woman who accepts and understands her growing authority.

In Female Led homes with more than one woman, such as roommates or sisters living together, each woman should have equal authority to instruct, supervise and discipline the males. This also applies in homes where there is a mother and daughter, once the mother has determined that her daughter is mature enough to properly handle the situation. Under the mother’s loving guidance, if the daughter is willing, she should be encouraged, by careful stages, to assume equal authority over the male. Anything less will eventually be destructive to the established matriarchal order in the home.

The Civilizing of Men in a Matriarchal Home

I learned a long time ago that women civilize men. Meaning that women are the reason men settle down, marry, have children, and become good providers. In other words, they take on the responsibilities of an adult.

In a matriarchal home—i.e., where the man also takes on the role of an obedient servant—this civilizing of males goes beyond what is seen in the average home. In the matriarchal home the male is trained to serve and obey without hesitation, and to anticipate the needs and wants of the women first and to show them the proper respect. In a matriarchal home males crave the peace of mind and privilege that come from kneeling before a woman as her unquestioning servant, and the profound honor of serving her in any way required for her pleasure and benefit.

From what I’ve seen and experienced in my own home, as well as in the homes of many other dominant women, Female Led is the ideal domestic arrangement for women and men to achieve harmony and happiness on an enduring basis.

Final Thoughts

Once again, in a properly structured female-led family, all the women, including older teen daughters, should be given authority over the males. Of course, the specific rules in every home will differ, depending on the wishes of the female head of the house. But the males must clearly understand that every woman, regardless of her age, is to be respected and obeyed. Once the rules and protocols are set, no woman should be questioned by the males. Anything other than this will only lead to confusion and a breakdown in essential matriarchal discipline.

In a Femdom home there is a time for males to speak. At other times, if a male has something to say, he should follow the proper protocol for how and when to ask permission to speak. Also, males should be trained to stop talking immediately when directed to do so by a woman.

THE HUSBAND’S GUIDE by “Leo”

 (Note from Thomas Lavalle: “The Husband’s Guide” is a short extract from an unpublished, long-form story, “Female Supremacy at Home,” by a lifelong advocate for female supremacy and matriarchal values. Having happily published some of the writer’s memoirs in an earlier version of this blog, I can attest that “Leo” knows intimately whereof he speaks. He was himself raised in a multi-generational matriarchal clan in which females ruled supreme and males learned to live by strict rules that in all essentials agreed with those listed below.)

The Husband’s Guide

This little guide is intended to assist husbands in their married life so that they understand that a husband is meant to serve his Wife. The guide has been written in a language simple enough that even a man is able to understand it.

First of all, and the most important thing, is that you must be perfectly clear that you are only a man, which means that you are inferior to Women.

Why? Simply because this is how Mother Nature dictates it. That is all you need to know; do not strain yourself trying to understand things that you are not able to understand.

So let’s see the main precepts:

1.       The husband is just a male, he is inferior.

2.       The husband must be utterly subservient to his Wife

3.       The husband is to honor, obey and serve his Wife.

This guide will teach you through a series of practical tips on what the husband’s behavior should be.

Basic Rules That Every Husband Should Have Clear

1.       The husband is to be faithful, humble, respectful, quiet and obedient.

2.       Never forget that your Wife is your Superior, her word is law. She orders, you obey.

3.       Whenever you are in her presence, your attitude must be submissive and respectful; keep your head slightly bowed, do not look at her directly in the eyes unless she demands it.

4.       If you are going to speak to her, do so in a moderate and respectful tone of voice. Be brief, watch your words; she is not interested in listening to your nonsense.

5.       You should always address her with due respect. Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, or in the way that she decides you should address her.

6.       Show respect toward her female relatives and friends.

7.       Never interrupt her when she is speaking; but if she interrupts you while you speak, shut up immediately and apologize for your impertinence.

8.       Never expect her to give you explanations for what she does or decides. It is none of your business.

9.       Respect her privacy; don’t go wherever she is if she hasn’t called you.

10.      You are just a man, and thus are entitled to no privacy at all. If your wife decides that you should be naked at home, either temporarily or permanently, that’s how it should be, period.

11.      The husband does not leave home without his wife’s permission.

12.      The husband does not watch TV without his wife’s permission, and he will see only what she deems convenient for him to see.

13.      The husband only reads what his wife authorizes him to read or orders him to read.

14.      The wife never asks her husband for favors. She gives him orders and she does not have to thank him. What she expects is that her orders are carried out to the letter, period.

15.      The husband must be grateful for all that his wife gives him, be it a small favor that she grants him or a harsh beating. Everything that she gives him is for his own sake.

Sexual Life and Women’s Rights

Let us remember that the husband must be completely subordinate to his Wife, and that the husband must be faithful to his Wife.

When a man marries, he becomes his Wife’s property, which means that he does not have free will, because his will depends on the will of his Wife. This is how the rights that the Wife has over her husband are established.

That is why the Wife does not have to be faithful to her husband. She has every right to fuck whomever she wants, when she wants and how she wants.

That is why she does not have to be accountable to her husband or explain her decisions and actions.

That is why the Wife has the right to rule her husband as she pleases and assert Her Authority as she sees fit.

All of the above apply to sexual life. The Wife is totally free to enjoy her sexuality as she wishes; that includes having lovers if she wishes and using her husband sexually as she pleases.

What About the Outside World?

Radical Feminists and Female Supremacists are the kind of women who are coherent with their principles. They are women who often boast of the authority they have over their husbands. That is why nowadays it is more common to see a woman giving orders to her husband or scolding him in front of other people. These are normal behaviors when the woman is the one who rules at home. The good news is that this trend is growing, thanks to the unstoppable empowerment of women that we are seeing every day.

So, the best thing you can do as a husband is to get used to your wife bossing you around, scolding you and even slapping you in public, all of which is happening frequently as there are more and more women like her.

If your wife reprimands you or slaps you in the presence of other women, just shut up and bow your head humbly unless you really want to enrage her and end up paying dearly for your insolence as soon as she gets you to a place of privacy or back home.

A real woman feels ashamed if her husband dares to show the slightest sign of insubordination or disrespect when you and she are with other women, especially women who share her Female Supremacist values; so if you ever shame her in such a way, rest assured that the beating she gives you is going to be memorable.

The husband should read this little guide at least twice a week. It is a good habit that will help him to have a satisfactory and useful married life.

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