MISTRESS SANDRA ON FEMALE LED FAMILIES

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: A half-dozen years ago, when this blog was first launched, I was privileged to publish several guest posts by “Mistress Sandra.” A frequent commenter to Mistress Kathy’s (currently dormant) Femdom 101 blog, Mistress Sandra was known for her passionate advocacy of, and informative comments on, femdom marriages. In her observations below, she ventures carefully and judiciously into the sensitive terrain of female-led families.)

Female Led Families & Dominant Daughters

This subject is extremely controversial, and I think we can all see why. But for those who truly believe in the positive aspects of female rule, a daughter coming of age and becoming a female authority to any male in the home, including her father, should be very natural.

I do think that in a home where this is a possibility, the ultimate female authority and head of the house, the wife and mother, should carefully consider how far this should go. Her comfort with whatever happens should be the most important consideration when the time comes.

A woman who believes in Female-Led homes should pass these beliefs on to her daughter, and teach her how to be a proper and positive female authority as she prepares for a Female-Led home of her own.

What about the father? His behavior should be an example to his daughter of how a well-trained, obedient and devoted male should act. As young teens, girls should see their father being very obedient and respectful to their mother. The father should do the housework, yard work and serve his wife in other ways as she wishes. He should also serve his daughter in ways that will benefit her without being overly obvious about his beliefs in the value of Female-Led homes. A man must balance between being a father while also being a respectful servant to his daughter.

Later, as a girl get older, usually around her late teens, she may be ready to start leading. At this stage fathers can be more open about taking orders from their daughters and waiting on them as opportunities arise. By the time a girl turns 21, she is a woman and deserving of being shown the same respect and obedience as her mother.

It would not be out of line if a mother decided at some point that her daughter should be addressed with a “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Ma’am” by her father. She could be given a position of authority to approve or deny any request by her father, and also to assign him chores and correct him as she sees fit. Her evolving position of authority, if it is to be valid, must include the authority to correct or discipline any male in her service.

It is fortunate indeed if a young woman can learn from her mother how a confident woman trains a submissive male, and to have a father who sets an example for proper male behavior in a Female-Led home! This is one of the best and most positive beginnings I can think of for her own journey to a happy Femdom marriage.

Each female-led home is different, and it is up to the head of the family to decide the degree and timing of a daughter’s involvement. There are many things to consider. The daughter’s interests, abilities, confidence and maturity are just a few. Also, the male’s level of training as well as past devoted service to his daughter. Has the daughter been raised in a home under strict femdom rules and protocols? Does she fully comprehend and embrace her position as a female authority in regard to him?

It is up to the female head of the family to integrate all these factors properly. This is her responsibility as the ultimate female authority in the home. She must balance her husband’s position as a father with his position as a household servant, while making sure that her daughter’s rightful place as a female authority within the home is also upheld and respected.

When done correctly—i.e., taking all of the above-mentioned factors into consideration—and depending on some key elements falling perfectly into place, I see no reason why young adult daughters shouldn’t be introduced to female dominance and leadership. This will enable them to avoid many of the mistakes other women may make when they embark on a Female-Led lifestyle.

By his submissive example, a devoted father can teach his daughter the proper way for men to behave toward women. Seeing his daily dedication to obey, serve and defer to all females in the family will help a daughter mature into a confident young woman who accepts and understands her growing authority.

In Female Led homes with more than one woman, such as roommates or sisters living together, each woman should have equal authority to instruct, supervise and discipline the males. This also applies in homes where there is a mother and daughter, once the mother has determined that her daughter is mature enough to properly handle the situation. Under the mother’s loving guidance, if the daughter is willing, she should be encouraged, by careful stages, to assume equal authority over the male. Anything less will eventually be destructive to the established matriarchal order in the home.

The Civilizing of Men in a Matriarchal Home

I learned a long time ago that women civilize men. Meaning that women are the reason men settle down, marry, have children, and become good providers. In other words, they take on the responsibilities of an adult.

In a matriarchal home—i.e., where the man also takes on the role of an obedient servant—this civilizing of males goes beyond what is seen in the average home. In the matriarchal home the male is trained to serve and obey without hesitation, and to anticipate the needs and wants of the women first and to show them the proper respect. In a matriarchal home males crave the peace of mind and privilege that come from kneeling before a woman as her unquestioning servant, and the profound honor of serving her in any way required for her pleasure and benefit.

From what I’ve seen and experienced in my own home, as well as in the homes of many other dominant women, Female Led is the ideal domestic arrangement for women and men to achieve harmony and happiness on an enduring basis.

Final Thoughts

Once again, in a properly structured female-led family, all the women, including older teen daughters, should be given authority over the males. Of course, the specific rules in every home will differ, depending on the wishes of the female head of the house. But the males must clearly understand that every woman, regardless of her age, is to be respected and obeyed. Once the rules and protocols are set, no woman should be questioned by the males. Anything other than this will only lead to confusion and a breakdown in essential matriarchal discipline.

In a Femdom home there is a time for males to speak. At other times, if a male has something to say, he should follow the proper protocol for how and when to ask permission to speak. Also, males should be trained to stop talking immediately when directed to do so by a woman.